Call me old school. 

I don’t care who my husband follows on social media – male or female – nor do I care who follows him. 

In fact, I don’t have any of his passwords and don’t go looking for what he ‘liked’ or didn’t. 

I don’t go through his phone.

I don’t call his friends to confirm he told me the truth about who he’s with, or make him turn on a location so I know where he’s at when we’re not together.

This is a mutual respect we have for each other, and it goes both ways in our marriage.

What kind of children are we (yes, we) raising that are thinking it’s OK to invade others’ privacy like this just because they are in a relationship? 

Courtship or not, we are all still individuals. We all still deserve personal boundaries, space and privacy.

Have I been in relationships before where I couldn’t trust the other person? 

Yes.

Have I been the person in other relationships who couldn’t be trusted?

Also, yes.

Have I gone through past significant others’ phones and vice versa?

You bet.

But listen sister: if you’ve been hurt before – you’ve got two options moving forward:

Continue your hurt into the next relationship (with someone who doesn’t deserve that hurt anymore than you do!)

Or

GROW. 

Yes, trust is hard. 

But there is no relationship we should want to be part of outside of one we can’t trust each other in. 

Trust is NOT invading another’s privacy to validate our own insecurities. 

Trust is knowing that the person you’re in a relationship with would never intentionally hurt you, and not having to discredit them by invading said privacy.

Every time you go through your partner’s phone, or request to see a picture of where they’re having dinner to prove they told you the truth before they left the house 2 hours ago – you discredit them.

It’s time, sister.

Time to grow.